adult emotions

How do you deal with grief? How long should you be grieving? Is it a time that you get over it all?

Let me tell you how I feel about it. I think it sucks, I think this belongs in the pits of hell. Why??? There’s so many emotions you have to deal with and no time to go through it. It’s work, social life, kids, family, friends and just life its damn self. Most of the time I’m cool and Most of the time I’m not. 50/50. One minute I’m sad, one minute I’m angry, one minute I’m happy, one Minute I just want to scream and hate everyone. One minute I’m confused and one minute I’m just appreciative and grateful! My aunt/big sister/best friend/mother; died in 2021 at the age of 45. It’s been 5yrs and I still cry every year on Aug. 9th when she took her last breath and every year on Oct. 8th when we’re supposed to be celebrating when she took her first! No one can ever tell me different. I’m selfish, this is I know, because I wish it wasn’t her, I wasn’t ready for her to go so soon! Why??? I always ask. Grief is a B**ch!!! No matter what I do this will always be the worse death I had to experience, and on those two dates I make sure that it’s celebrated, from family gatherings or just going to the movies alone, having a drink to remember who she was. How do you guys deal or celebrate (if you do) the passing of a loved one that was super near and dear to your heart?